Sodium

When I lived in Hawaii I worked at a restaurant called Aunti Pasto's. Great place. It was owned by this guy, Ed. Great guy. One Saturday morning, shortly after I was hired, we had a staff meeting. The purpose of the meeting was to educate the staff about what they were serving. For example, "If someone tells you they're trying to watch their cholesterol you do NOT recommend the Carbonara." And so on. Eventually he started talking about salt. "Do you know how much salt you're supposed to have a day? This much," he said as he held up the smallest pinch of salt between his fingers. "You should never, EVER, have to put salt on your food because of all the salt that's being put in your food for you." Since that day I very rarely reach for the salt shaker- Not because I care that much about my salt intake, but because whenever I reach for the salt shaker I can't help but think of Ed, and his passion, and I feel guilty. I already feel guilty about enough things in life, so, no, I don't need the salt on top of that.

AND

My mother, Jo Ann, used to, and actually still does, get her hair colored and permed by, coincidentally, another Joanne. If I remember correctly, she's my mom's sister's ex-husband's son's ex-wife. F'real. Once, when I was in elementary school she doing my mom's hair on the back patio, Coors Light in tow (my Mom always made my Dad buy Coors Light cans when Joanne was coming over). The Magic were playing the Knicks that night, and I really wanted to watch because I owned 3 Shaq jerseys, but we didn't get MSG. Hoping I might get invited over, I asked Joanna, "Do you get MSG?"

"No, I don't really like Chinese food."

I didn't see the game that night. And considering how long ago this memory seems, it's remarkable that Shaq is still in the league.