World War 3

... it will be a "perfect storm" if you will. If you think about it, it all makes sense.

Primates will learn how to talk and drive at the same time computers learn to think for themselves, and before you know it there will be a full blown world war: humans vs. primates vs. cyborg killing machines vs. mother nature.

The logical conclusion? We become pirates. The ice caps will melt due to Global Warming, drastically reducing our land. We'll take to the sea, where the primates can't swim and the cyborgs can't function. We'll live on boats, fighting off scurvy, and growing facial hair.

We're screwed.

Whoring

I'm a Pitchfork whore. As much as I hate them at times, I love them just as much, and they definitely speed along a slow work day. I logged on this morning to find a complete re-work of the site. I was skeptical at first, but I think they did a really nice job. Plus, their address is now "pitchfork.com", instead of "pitchforkmedia.com", something that has always bothered me a ton.

I suppose this post is the equivalent to wearing a giant Nike swoosh across your t-shirt, but, like I said, I'm a whore.

Andrea & Snoop

Andrea, in the kitchen: "Oooh! I found chocolate covered pretzels!"

Snoop Dogg, in my headphones: "Can we get a moment of mother-fuckin' silence up in here?!"


I don't know... I found it funny.

Sodium

When I lived in Hawaii I worked at a restaurant called Aunti Pasto's. Great place. It was owned by this guy, Ed. Great guy. One Saturday morning, shortly after I was hired, we had a staff meeting. The purpose of the meeting was to educate the staff about what they were serving. For example, "If someone tells you they're trying to watch their cholesterol you do NOT recommend the Carbonara." And so on. Eventually he started talking about salt. "Do you know how much salt you're supposed to have a day? This much," he said as he held up the smallest pinch of salt between his fingers. "You should never, EVER, have to put salt on your food because of all the salt that's being put in your food for you." Since that day I very rarely reach for the salt shaker- Not because I care that much about my salt intake, but because whenever I reach for the salt shaker I can't help but think of Ed, and his passion, and I feel guilty. I already feel guilty about enough things in life, so, no, I don't need the salt on top of that.

AND

My mother, Jo Ann, used to, and actually still does, get her hair colored and permed by, coincidentally, another Joanne. If I remember correctly, she's my mom's sister's ex-husband's son's ex-wife. F'real. Once, when I was in elementary school she doing my mom's hair on the back patio, Coors Light in tow (my Mom always made my Dad buy Coors Light cans when Joanne was coming over). The Magic were playing the Knicks that night, and I really wanted to watch because I owned 3 Shaq jerseys, but we didn't get MSG. Hoping I might get invited over, I asked Joanna, "Do you get MSG?"

"No, I don't really like Chinese food."

I didn't see the game that night. And considering how long ago this memory seems, it's remarkable that Shaq is still in the league.

Repeater

I'm thoroughly surprised that it's not a bigger deal that certain birds can talk. It's astonishing, really.

Rose Bank

There's some list crossing-offing to be done.

96. Done. Went to the Rose Bank Winery this past Saturday w/ Barb, Helen, & Steven. Wasn't the best wine in the world, but it wasn't too shabby, and it was definitely an experience. Cross it off!








78. Another book down, this one from the 33 1/3 series: Meat Is Murder by Joe Pernice, of the somewhat average power-pop band the Pernice Brothers. It's the only book in the series that's fiction and it didn't really work. Didn't live up to my expectations. If you don't know what Meat Is Murder is, or for that matter, who the Smiths are, do NOT pick up this book.

73. Song of the Week: "Last Dance" by the Mekons off of Fear & Whiskey.

PS - This post has been updated with pictures.

Bobby Jindal

I really don't like this guy. Watching his response to Obama's Congressional Address was outright painful. Nobody wants to follow an Obama speech, but that sing-songy load of crap was pathetic. You can watch the full video here. Just watch the first 2 minutes to get the point. This isn't just because I love Obama; Jindal's speech has been practically universally slammed.

Also, something that I noticed live last night, and found terribly funny, has been picked up by the online community: As MSNBC cuts away to Jindal's live speech somebody didn't kill (we have to assume) Keith Olbermann's mic quick enough. Listen to the very clear, and disgusted sounding, "oh, God..." as Jindal approaches the mic.

UPDATE: It was actually Chris Matthews who uttered the "Oh, God" and he doesn't seem to care. Good for him.

Lastly, I'm relatively new to following the world of politics, but it seemed like Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, stood up quite often during last night's address. I found one site reporting that she stood up 34 times during the 1 hour speech. Hemroids?

If SNL is live this week they were just given 2 early Christmas presents.

List Erosion

This whole 101 / 1001 thing is long overdue for an update.

5. I've completed 100 push-ups a day for a month.
13. I've eaten an apple every day for a month.
15. I abstained from microwave usage for an entire month.
16. I didn't fart in front of Barb for 1 month straight. I swear. You can ask her.
17. I didn't drink diet soda for a month. I've had it since, but far less frequently.
21. I backed up all of photos, music, random files, etc. onto an external hard drive.
23. Finally hung my dart board.
24. Mounted my world map and hung it in the living room. Looks awesome.
33. I'm up to 5 of my 30 letters to people I care about but don't really talk to.
41. I've fallen off my pace, but I'm up to 20,800 grains of rice donated on freerice.com
54. I've cooked 13 new recipes out of 50 (pictures above recipe).










- Shrimp w/ Snow Peas
- Grilled Chinese Salmon









- One-Pan Pork Fu Yung









- Chicken Chow Mein









- Thai Curry Stir-Fry
- Roast Sesame Fish









- Spicy Beef & Broccoli Stir-Fry









- Bacon-Wrapped Shrimp w/ Bacon & Gorgonzola
- Turkey Sausage & Hazelnut Stuffed Mushrooms
- Sausage & Chili Tartlets
- Cilantro Aioli
- Emeril's Tiramisu













- Easy Enchiladas
55. Drank at Barley Creek Brewing Company, so 1 out of 5 breweries are done. I'm not drunk in this picture; this is what I look like after snowboarding and 1 beer.











73. Song-A-Week Playlist, now up to 12 songs:
- Parts & Labor - Nowheres Nigh
- Bon Iver - Skinny Love
- David Byrne & Brian Eno - Strange Overtones
- Titus Andronicus - Titus Andronicus
- The Jam - The City
- Archers of Loaf - Web In Front
- Pavement - Harness Your Hopes
- Bright Eyes - I Woke Up With This Song In My Head This Morning
- Billy Bragg - New England
- Fleet Foxes - Mykonos
- The Pains of Being Pure At Heart - Stay Alive
- Morrissey - All You Need Is Me
76. I saw my first "Best Picture" winner: No Country for Old Men. Despite being fully engaged from beginning to end, I can't say I was blown away by it, although I think it was very well done and would recommend it.
78. I'm up to 6 of 30 books read. New additions since the last update:
- The Pitchfork 500: Our Guide to the Greatest Songs from Punk to the Present editing by by Scott Plagenhoef and Ryan Schreiber
- Last King of Scotland by Giles Foden
- The Travel Book: A Journey Through Every Country in the World by Lonely Planet Publications

Passport Neglect

My Top 10 List of Countries I'd Love to Visit:

- note 1: not in order.
- note 2: New Zealand and Australia have been excluded, although I (constantly) dream of going back.

Belize (because I've heard nothing but good things)
Canada (because it's so damn close)
Chile (because the pictures I've seen are absurd)
Denmark (because it's supposed to be the happiest country on the planet)
Germany (because of hereditary reasons... and beer)
Iceland (because it doesn't look like it belongs to this planet)
Ireland (see Germany)
Japan (because of Lost In Translation & sushi)
Thailand (because I want to taste real Thai food)
Virgin Islands (because I've been to "paradise", but not this region of it)

America™

I just finished reading The Travel Book: A Journey Through Every Country in the World by Lonely Planet. Great book. They profile 230 countries (some territories, etc.), with each country getting 2 pages of coverage, mostly dominated by photos. Each country also gets a section called "Trademarks" where they list what each country is known for, or what you're bound to encounter while there. I found the United States of America's trademarks to be a little... well, shitty. Here they are, presented without altercation or omission:

"Burgers, fries, and Budweiser; red-white-and-blue T-shirts; sneaker and jeans; yuppies in SUVs, cowboys in pickups; loud people; gun lovers; dangerous cities"